My Lovely Readers I am almost to my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. I'm super excited because I've never had a relationship go this well like ever in my life. In fact I thought I never would. I thought I was cursed, I thought I was doomed to repeat the same cycle over and over again until the day I died.
Now I know I seem like really together and like a have this great life and everything is going my way. Some of you may even be annoyed by me always writing about how happy I am. The truth is I am really happy right now, but things weren't always like this for me. It took a long time for me to get where I am now. And it wasn't easy, or fun along the way, but I did it, because it was something that I really wanted and I wasn't giving up without a fight. You see when I was younger I was not like "The popular girl at school" In fact I don't think anyone even really noticed me back then because I was in my awkward stage where I basically looked the worst I ever had in my entire life. I didn't even have my first boyfriend until I was 20 years old. It was weird because I was so used to being the girl that no one really ever paid attention to, to all the sudden guys were starting to come up to me. They were interested in me! And I liked it. My first boyfriend was a nice and decent guy, but we were so different in so many ways, and there was certain things about him that I knew I couldn't live with forever. So after about 7 months of dating I ended our relationship. I felt bad because he was really crushed, but I was ready to move on. My plan was to be by myself for a little bit, and take my time before I jumped into another relationship, but that's not how things went. I met my second boyfriend like 2 weeks after I broke up with the first one. He seemed like a really nice guy at first. On the outside he was super handsome, and had a really nice body. He was the kind of guy that made all the girl's heads turn, but on the inside he was really selfish, and mean. He treated me really badly. I saw him lose his temper really easily and he really scared me. I should have left him right away, as soon as I saw his bad side, but I was afraid of him, I was afraid for my life. Anyways he ended up cheating on me after 6 months of dating each other, and to be honest with you I wasn't even that upset about it. In fact I was relieved. I finally could break up with him, and be done with him for good. The one boyfriend I had I kind of got tricked into going out with. Let me explain: You see I was out one night with a bunch of people and this friend of a friend told me that his friend was going to a wedding and needed a date. I had no idea who the guy was or what he even looked like, but being the nice person that I am I agreed to go. I thought it was just going to be a one time thing for the wedding and that was it. He was really unattractive, Not my type at all, and he was like 9 years older then me. I shouldn't have gone out with him in the first place. I guess at the time I thought maybe I could grow to love him. (HUGE MISTAKE!) He wasn't a great boyfriend either. The one guy I dated who was the worst of them all, I'm not even going to get into because he is not even worth talking about. He was a liar, a manipulator, my whole family hated him, and let's just say that I am so happy that he is no longer a part of my life, and leave it at that. I met another boyfriend online. I only dated him for 2 months and 2 weeks. I fell really hard for him. He was like the male version of me. We had so much in common it was insane. I thought he felt the same way about me, but then he dumped me out of no where, and I was upset about it for a really long time. After going through all the bullshit from these other guys I was really discouraged. I was also fearful of meeting someone else. I was single for over a year. I grew a lot in that year. I went to classes, worked out, finished school, got a new job, went out with my friends, read a lot of books, and at the end of that year I got a message on Okcupid from a boy named Kevin. AKA My current boyfriend:-) And ever since then everything has gotten better and better for me, but it was only after going through a lot of pain and satisfice. Sometimes you have to go through some pain and satisfice to get what you really want. Sometimes you have to wait a long time before anything seems to happen. Sometimes you have to make mistakes so that you can learn from them and do better in the future. Sometimes you have to go through shit and be treated badly to become a stronger person. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that if you are having a hard time finding the right guy: Hang in there! I know it's easier said then done, but don't give up! I thought I was never going to meet anyone. I just thought that there wasn't a guy out there for me, but then something wonderful and unexpected happened. I know how you feel because I have been where you are. If you are single right now, don't sit alone in your room and feel sorry for yourself! Go out and have fun! Have a girl's night out, go shopping, do something that you enjoy doing. Just live your life, and before you know it you will find him:-)
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December 2015
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