Hello Readers! Happy March! I'm super excited because I'm super close to the end of my pregnancy and Spring is almost here! I'm so over the winter weather and being inconvenienced by the snow.
I know it's been a while since I wrote about my pregnancy but to be completely honest I have not had an easy one. I have been feeling really crappy for the last six months. If I had to decide what being pregnant felt like in one word I would say UNCOMFORTABLE!!!! I have felt extremely UNCOMFORTABLE in many, many ways since I've been pregnant. In the very beginning I hardly had any symptoms but by the fourth week I started having really bad morning sickness. I would throw up every morning as soon as I woke up and then continued to feel nauseous for most of the day. This went on for a while. I still have morning sickness here and there but it's not as bad. I've also experienced nose bleeds, restless legs symptom, back pain, feeling like I'm starving even after I just ate, and just feeling extremely tired all the time. I've spend most of my days off laying on the couch with my legs up on a pillow because I'm too tired to go out and do anything. We found out we are having a girl back in January. To be honest I was really surprised when I heard the words "It's a girl". I don't have anything against girls it's just that I really thought I was having a boy. Every time I pictured holding my baby in my arms, feeding him, rocking him, pushing him in his stroller, I also imagined a baby boy. I even had his name picked out. I remember waiting in the waiting room in the hospital to be taken back to find out the sex. I was flipping through a magazine and I saw this picture that caught my attention. I think it was an ad for Tide or some other laundry detergent. It was a picture of a mother and young daughter sitting at a table having a tea party. They were dressed up in really cute dresses and wearing pearl necklaces. I don't know if seeing that picture was a sign but as I sat there staring at it I Knew. On the way home Kevin pointed out that I was really quiet and asked me if I was disappointed. It's not that I was disappointed, I was scared. I was prepared to take care of a baby girl, a toddler even a young child but I was absolutely terrified of having to handle a teenage girl. I had a hard time during my teenage years. I was really depressed, insecure, immature and just angry at the world. Being a teenage girl is hard, and I didn't want to relive it again. I don't want my daughter to ever feel like I had felt. I don't want anyone to make fun of her or break her heart or make her feel bad about herself. I talked to my mom and husband about my fears and they both said "Do you think teenage boys never feel bad or get their hearts broken?" "Do you think they're not hard to handle in a different way?" I honestly never really thought about it before. I always thought boys were stronger and didn't care about stuff like that. Then my mom went on to tell me how great having a daughter was and how she was so happy to have me and my sister because we are so close and that she was really happy I was having a girl. The more I thought about it the more excited I got. I can't wait to meet my daughter in May! I can't wait to teach her things and take her places and share things with her. I want to give her a great life. I want her to know that she is loved and most of all I want her to be happy.
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AuthorReal life adventures of that girl Justine:) Archives
May 2018
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